Ain’t nothing gonna’ breaka my stride….

It’s Friday! I am ready for the challenge. Bring it on! If you dare.  My fiery red head usually tests my patience in the AM with his “aching bones” and drama stories to delay school preparation.  Usually, the oatmeal is to ‘juicy’ or not enough Agave Nectar and honey, which leads me back to the kitchen fixing the formula so it will pass his temperamental taste buds.

My job will be waiting with deadlines.  I may work this weekend, if I don’t succeed.  I am not worried. I wake up at warrior hours – 6 AM, due in LARGE part to an overfed and overstuffed Cocker Spaniel who thinks breakfast should begin. I can post a blog or two, even twitter some deals for yourli.com.  I will do this because I love the product and I believe in it.

I am not going to be fazed by people who gossip about me. Nor will I be a part of gossip.  I won’t let my perception push me down into isolation.  I AM not backing down to life today. I will laugh. I will remain calm. AND most of all I am positive.  EVEN when I am running a TAD bit late for work due to my red head’s loss of attention to a snow pile or his casual stroll to the car because he has no worries.  I will not … nope.. you can’t make me get my feathers ruffled over back seat drivers or front seat Sunday strollers.  I will laugh when my son’s fast food promotional toy (Madagascar 2) will sing it’s usual “I like to move it.. move it” as I make a quick right or left into avenues and roads until reaching my destination.

C’mon, people! LAUGH… LIVE… and most of all LOVE- it’s freaking Friday!

I’m baaaaaackkkkk!

Here I am!

It’s been awhile. Life locked me in a tight grip. Today I feel a moment of boredom. I can challenge myself, I thought, with a new post to an old blog.  The Shlape Saga’s has been on hiatus on the world wide web BUT not in reality. We won challenges and survived dramas most agitated by each others mood swings.

In this moment, I am fresh out of words.  They are within me but not ready to behave into creative thoughts. I can compromise. I will give them the night off.

PEACE!

Making it “legit”: Linked to longer lasting gay relationships

I’m argumentative partly from birth, environment and the modeling theory.  This character defects can work with me or against me. My lovely life partner often traps herself like an innocent insect in a spider’s den.  Nonchalantly a word or phrase comes out of her loose lips without proper filter.  The verbal battle begins without warning, she attempts to throw up the white flag, but I am quick and always ready to battle even if I have to fight with air.  People have commented that my calling should be in the legal field.  Fighting for the innocent and prosecuting the guilty would please my argumentative nature.
Throughout our five year relationship, there have been some “doozies”; with energy invested negatively, each thought the dissolution of our bond. Thankfully God is not listening to my mother’s prayers, and He keeps us together yet another day. There have been moments, days, weeks where we both wanted “out”.  It’s natural; some of the “heteros” are in the same boat.  They call it the “7 year itch” but when the man strays or the wife plays before the 7 years the “heteros” call it the “2 or 3 or 4 year itch”.
What makes me stay and work out the kinks? For one, I am never going to find anyone that deals with the “ALL” of me! I have mood swings.  I am hyper sensitive.  I am a control freak.  I am an isolator. I am stubborn.  Oh, I can produce a list of personality defects a hallway list long.  I stay too because when stars are aligned and the Universe is slightly balanced we complete each other.  There is laughter, in fact years of laughter.  Our memories, I can create into a Lifetime special.  It’s not hard to see we both are in love with each other. You don’t have to squint nor put on your thicker bifocals.  Look past the arguing, we blend.
Why stray? Why leave?  I believe in the “grass is always greener on the other side” theory.  No matter what may look appealing, there will be that morning where you roll over and see your “goddess” sleeping next to you with drool escaping from open mouth or some cold cream battling the age factor.  There is NO ONE that looks that sexy 24/7.
While clicking through the net, I found some interesting information in regards to same sex relationships. I am all about learning especially when it comes to anything that truly tickles my fancy or has to relate to my lifestyle.  In an article on 365gay.com a “study released shows that legalized same sex coupled relationships appear to be longer lasting than those without a legal status.”  There is evidence to support the claim as well as reasons.  According to 365gay.com “researchers from the University of Washington, San Diego State University and the University of Vermont, the study is the first to examine the experiences of couples in the five years since Vermont legalized civil unions, and the results appear in the publication of Developmental Psychology.”
Reasons for longer ties:
•    Acceptance and understanding from friends, family, co workers.
•    Legal, medical, financial protections and benefits

These are just some of the motives Robert-Jay Green, executive director of the Rockaway Institute, a national center for LGBT research, education and public policy at Alliant International University in San Francisco was able to compile in his study.
The article produces statistics and variables that may intrigue.  If you are interested in Methodology and gay relationships check out: http://www.365gay.com/news/082608-relationship-study/
One interesting “in your face to the straight community” fact  found on 365gay.com, “In contrast to old myths about same-sex couples being deficient or less viable than male-female couples , this research project shows that same-sex partners who seek to legalize their relationships actually may be among the best functioning couples in this society,” said Green.”
With that information wouldn’t the world be a better place to “Live~Love~Laugh” if they would just let the gays wed the gays?  ‘NUFF SAID!
Peace!

“To my Lesbian Lover”

“Although we’ve only been together one week I think it’s time for the U haul. Let’s blend wardrobes. Your house or mine?”
“As we prepare ourselves for a life united in wedded bliss there is one thing I will always know, you are always right!”
“It’s your birthday. Let’s paint the town rainbow colors, scare some Catholics and make the boys drool. Your still my #1 sexy lesbian lover.”

Last night I was doing my usual searching on several different sites. As I read through Digg, MSN, Topix top stories I stumbled upon Gay.com. Reading a news article while on line shopping for the kids back to school clothes I was pleasantly surprised that progress is being made in the gay world.
Hallmark introduces Gay marriage cards (reason for my creative quotes above).
According to a Digg article, Hallmark, seeing a new market after California ruling, is beginning to roll out gay marriage greeting cards.

I think I should pitch some ideas to Hallmark. I mean I AM the one who is usually ranting and raving in my house and finding myself with pride high and eyeballs low to the floor forcing an “I’m Sorry” AT LEAST once a day. And those apologies are NOT easy for a stubborn sista’ like me. Hallmark may have made my life easier if they could create some useful yet creative ways to say “I’m Sorry” or “I love you, just because I think that girl is hot does not mean I want to leave you.” kinda cards.

I don’t know about anyone else but I got ideas, and I may just leave my day job to enter the gay card writing market.  I’m thinking.  I’m scheming.  I’m brainstorming.  Now if I could only work on my follow through, it sucks!  I can see myself sipping a Bud while lounging at my “villa” in the tropics because the gay masses are grabbing my cards as they fly off the shelves.  Hey, a girl can dream can’t she?!

Here’s to dreams and wishes becoming realities! It’s Friday, one of my wishes already came true!

read more | digg story

Caution: Bad MOOD ahead!

I am having a terrible, no good, very bad morning! I know…. I know…”change your thoughts and change your day.” I don’t want to self help my inner child. She is entitled to revolt every once in awhile.

I must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed last night.
Who thought of that? I guess I shouldn’t care because it will be my excuse for the day. Come to think of it I use that bullshit a lot. I can’t wait until Friday.

Is it Friday yet? If I blink three times, like Dorothy her heels on The Wizard of Oz, will I STILL be sleeping in my favorite position? Wouldn’t it be grand if we could get three fantasy wishes a day? I want to think creatively, if I swallow a Red Bull with some potent java magic MIGHT happen. Words are hard to sort through in my mental file cabinet at the moment.

As I greet the new day, I may just decide to stew in angry thoughts.
They rev me up like some metal bands.
It does not take much for me to boil over with negative energy.

Today it involves McCain, his anything goes attitude and cannonball comments, his PR reps who do double duty with damage control and the GAYS. It is quite comical to watch him spit out sewage ,seconds later his peeps air freshen the Universe.

I need to get me a PR rep. In fact, that would be a “fantasy” wish for Hump Day! Imagine how my world would move if I HAD a PR REP helping me through my blunders, bleeps and bloopers. Especially while I’m working. There is way to much male hormones stuffed into the small office that I occupy. They make the usual “dumb blonde jokes”, It’s Carmel coloring dammit! I slide in a dig from time to time. Sometimes they tilt there head like my confused Wheaten Terrier. Enter DAMAGE CONTROL DIVA, she got it “going on” (3 snaps in a Z formation people). Her quick witted mind is no match for them.

I blink three times, and I am back to reality. I am ready to face the day.

Eyes of a Child

It’s 9:30 AM. He has been transported successfully to his destination, school. All is well in the Shlape household.
In this moment, I may find Zen. An hour ago I was serenity challenged. There were temper tantrums and tears (and that was just from the “Big Mama”)and ring side seats for“five year old vs wreck of the week mama” battling.

It seems my voice does NOT intimidate him anymore. I pulled out my bag of “Mama” warfare and he challenged me until I surrendered.

My only question to him, while in our calm state, what happens? I want to be able to understand through the eyes of MY child how he can disappear into another world while presently walking through his day with ten tasks to go.
He has a goal, I turn around and he IS OFF running naked throughout freshly vacuumed rooms with plastic kitchen toy knives as his “karate” sticks. I prompt more than necessary for a 5 year old who has been doing this ALL YEAR LONG. Hollering ensues.

I wish I could not panic over deadlines. I long to be the mother who balances the world with one hand while defying school rules, BECAUSE she IS “SUPERDUPERDELICIOUS MOM” who has no time for piddly nonsense due to the fact she is fighting Global Warming/Healing the sick in her family/volunteering at the local soup kitchen ALL while working a FULL TIME job and putting a five course meal on the table by 5.

I worry. I fear the… duh.. duh… duh… LATE sign in BOOK. It is a book of failure. I hang my head low and sign him in. If I can’t get my five year old “Red Devil” to school on time how will I EVER be successful enough to be a GUEST star on OPRAH? I admit for a few months I put some creative flair to my late book signing excuses: laundry piling up and son with fashion issues, needed chemicals to live (asthma attack), loves to sleep/hates to listen… After awhile I call my partner, again with my head hung low, and admit defeat “I signed the book again!” She knows my issues about the book. My need to be: “Practically Perfect Poppins”.

Today, I signed the book. Actually yesterday I signed it, too. My excuse: LATE. Do I really care at this point? 10+ more days of school and we have to worry about where we will place the BOY for summer camp. It’s on my SANTA (means long mother hellion) LIST. My partner always says, “I guarantee that by the time he goes to college this will not matter.”

This morning my son and I connected once again on the way to school. We talked about pacts broken and new finger promises to start fresh. I still long to know what goes on inside that five year old. Where he goes when the world is still moving?

In the end, I am jealous. I wish to be five again to live through the eyes of a child. They fight and make up with no grudges held. They have little worries of the future and live in a second to second time frame. They struggle to remember the past. It’s as if it has been “Etch-A-Sketch” from their cranium. Today does not have to play Peek-A-Boo with them because they are lost in yesterday. Today is their companion.
If I can JUST be happy in the moment and not fret over small things I will see things through the eyes of a child.
‘Nuff said! Peace out peeps!

You can’t, you won’t… you’re just not going to get me uplifted this morning.
I have no positive point to make. I am grouchy. I am stewing in my own “Oh Woa is me” moments. Lack of sleep? I don’t know. Robin decided last night to do what she does best, buy the generic of a product that MAY have needed more than a KING Kullen special. Hmm.. I let her go with it. I didn’t make waves when she skipped up to the counter saving 2.00 bucks. But at 12 PM and then 3 PM I could not take it anymore. She snores! She snores like God bowls in a thunderstorm. I wake her and she says, “why did you wake me?”. What a silly question. Why wouldn’t I wake you? Would it be fair that I have to listen to the Earth collapsing every time your in R.E.M state? Just call me Maggie Mood Swings, she does. Although I like to think of her asMolly McSelfish. Today, I am not in a loving place with her. She will blame me. I will accept it.
Currently I will be late for work since I am focusing on blogging before career.
Although I am not exactly sure where I am supposed to be today. Once I can ask that internal question and get a response, I will gladly run accordingly to the goal line.
I think I am most cranky that I have to go to work today. There will be stress, lots of it. I will practice finding my BUDDHA from within.
Peace!